I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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