those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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