His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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