so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
She even gives head with a lisp.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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