i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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