So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
