it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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