I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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