I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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