is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
