Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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