your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
