And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize