what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
