Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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