i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
