Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
that's an acceptable place to lick
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
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