i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
