i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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