somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
