My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
