he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
