just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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