yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
