happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize