When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
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