I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
