No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
