i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
