Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
