She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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