batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
