U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
