I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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