Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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