Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
