if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i want to swaddle you in tequila
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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