im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize