Redeem this text for a blowjob
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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