Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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