I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
