no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize