After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
