bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
