Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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