I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My bed smells like the plague
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
