playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
