having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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