I showed him my bush... on skype.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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