WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My vagina just recognized that song.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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