hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
