you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
