My brain says no but my pants say off.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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