It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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