i barfeds in our rink
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
last night I used snow as a chaser
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