I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
