Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize