Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Then you guys just all showered together...?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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