Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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