Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
