I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
