It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
