Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
