all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
