Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
